Sunday, August 30, 2009

It Came From Japan

This is amazing. Giant Hornets!! From Japan!! Giant hornets the size of your thumb!!! Why am I just finding out about these now? Man, these hornets are some ruthless motherfuckers. They can also spray poison that just may melt your flesh. Why haven't I seen some cheesy B-movie featuring these things? Someone has got to make this movie. It would probably be exactly like Alfred Hitchcock's 'The Birds', except instead of birds attacking everyone it would be giant hornets from Japan terrorizing every living thing in their path. Don't believe me? Watch this.

Monday, August 24, 2009

A 6 foot 3 Ray of Sunshine

My last blog was incredibly negative. So I offer you this. You see, I see something I enjoy and I get the urge to share it with everyone I know. That way, everyone gets something to smile about. Or they just think I enjoy some really weird shit. Anyway, that's just the kind of guy I am. I'm like a ray of sunshine, here to brighten everyone's gray little lives. A 6 foot 3 ray of sunshine. Bask away.

I hate my fridge

My fridge sucks. It's the worst. I hate it so much. Every time I look at it I say "I fucking hate you fridge". That's how much I hate it. It has a freezer that you can only access by opening the fridge door. The freezer may actually be worse than the fridge. Last week I had to thaw out the freezer because it was slowly turning into a giant piece of ice. Seriously. I can't even control the temperature in the freezer....because there is no way to control it. There is no dial. There is no gauge. The handle on the fridge is only half on. To open it I have to grab the top of the door and pull it open. Don't ask me how old it is. It is made by HotPoint. Ever heard of them? Me neither. I have never come across any appliance made by them. I checked them out on wikipedia and they were founded in 1911. Which means my fridge was probably made in 1912. Tonight I was in town and I drove by an old fridge on someone's front lawn. And that fridge was nicer than mine. I was so jealous.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Flight of the Airplane

So I'm driving around today searching for a decent song on the radio. Which can be difficult, because most stations playlists consist of songs that fall into 2 categories. The ones which I have heard thousands of times and never want to hear again. And the ones which are so bad that they actually infuriate me, leading to fits of road rage. (Not really, but you get the point.) But I found a good one on 105.3, so I settled there for a few minutes. (105.3 refers to itself as Cool FM. I don't think anyone would consider that to be a cool station. I don't anyway. But they refer to themselves as that. That's like me referring to myself as cool. And I am most certainly not.) After the song was over they played a commercial for a contest they were running called 'The Flight of the Conchords Weekend Giveaway.' During the commercial they had soundbites from the movie 'Airplane'. Why would they use clips from 'Airplane'? This makes no sense. I mean, I get why they did because the clips they used were of a stewardess giving instructions before a flight. So there is a connection there with the word flight. Buy why wouldn't they use clips from 'Flight of the Conchords'? It's a funny show. The only thing this commerical accomplished, besides confusing the hell out of me, was reminding people what a funny movie 'Airplane' is. And it is. It's hilarious. And so is Conchords. Enjoy.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Speak Up

I'm finally making my way through the last season of Battlestar Galactica. I'm not a huge sci-fi fan, but this show isn't typical science fiction. Or maybe it is. I should say that it's not the sci-fi that I'm used to. Battlestar isn't strictly about space battles, lasers, goofy looking aliens and shit blowin' up. (There are lots of space battles....but no goofy looking aliens. The bad guys are Cylons. I'm not going to explain who they are. Watch the show.) It's actually really interesting. And deep. Too deep sometimes. Stupid people who love space battles and shit blowin' up would definitely detest this show. Or they would fall asleep watching it. (By the way, I'm not hatin' on Star Wars here.....I love Star Wars.) I have one minor problem with the show. Admiral Adama, not the show's main character, but one of the main ones, is so hard to understand. I find that most of the time he barely speaks above a whisper. I always have to turn the volume up when he speaks. And he is the Admiral, so most of the stuff he says is kind of important. Even when he's mad he's hard to hear. I don't get it. It's really hindering my enjoyment of the show. But I still love it.

Monday, August 17, 2009

House of Flying Daggers

I'm loving this song. I listened to it 5 straight times today at the gym. This is some classic Wu-Tang. I loved the Wu-Tang Clan in high school. I still listen to 36 Chambers every now and then. It's actually a new Raekwon song, but it's got half of the remaining Clan members in it, so it's probably the closest thing we're ever gonna get. Hell, it's even got Inspektah Deck leading off. It's called 'House of Flying Daggers'. Enjoy.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Happy Now?

This heat is ridiculous. I don't know how much more i can take. It's totally kicking my ass. Any time i get up to do something it's like the heat says 'I don't think so Scotty. Lay back down and sweat some more.' Just the act of getting up and coming over here to the computer to type this is exhausting. Yesterday was awful. I drove over an hour to Tavistock to visit my sister and her husband without A/C in my car. (It hasn't worked for over a year now. When told how much it would cost to fix it, I declined and said to myself, 'No big deal. I'll just roll the window down.') I was drenched when I finally got there. I remember people complaing about the cool weather we had in June and July. Happy now? I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go lay down.

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Go Gunners Go

Go Arsenal go. Seriously. Win something this year. Today is a big day. The English Premiership begins. It's a long, long season. I thought baseball had a long season, but the Premiership doesn't end until early May. I've been an Arsenal fan for a few years now. I believe it was the season after the 'Invincibles'. That was about 5 years ago. They went the entire season without losing a single match in the Premiership, something that had never been done. They didn't lose. They were 'invincible'. Get it? They were pretty 'effin good. Anyway, that was the last time they won the Premiership. I'm beginning to understand what Nick Hornby was going through in 'Fever Pitch'. He waited almost 20 years between Arsenal titles and the dry spell was messing with him. It's a great book. The movie is actually good too. Not the Jimmy Fallon/Boston Red Sox movie. I'm talking about the Colin Firth movie from '96 or '97. I searched high and low for it on DVD and finally found it for about $9. Well worth the search. Not that there's anything wrong with the Jimmy Fallon version. It's harmless. Anyway, I'm getting off topic. My main point? Go Gunners. Go.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

J'Taime, Mon Homme!

Last night i rented "I Love You, Man." Very funny movie. See it. As I was leaving this morning to run some errands, I grabbed the DVD so I could return it and noticed something strange. In french "I Love You, Man" is translated to "J'Taime, mon homme!" (This is Canada. We are a bilingual nation. DVD's always have french and english on them. The french is usually in much smaller letters.)
The punctuation on the french translation confuses me. Very strange. Why is there an exclamation point in french, but not one in english? I don't understand. I'm going to now assume that french men are way more enthusiastic about expressing love for their male friends. And what about us english speaking men? Apparently we are more reserved. We keep it simple. Nothing too extravagant. Real casual. "Hey. I love you, man." That's it. Nothing to get excited about.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Totally Stupid

I can't believe its been 2 months since my last blog.....its been so long that i actually forgot my password and had to go through the long process of getting a new one....i wrote the new one down, so 2 months from now i won't have the same problem.
So my landlords have built a new garage at their house. It's very nice. It's a 2 car garage with one small problem. There is a tree in front of the garage, which is very odd. And when I say odd, I mean totally stupid. I have no idea what they were thinking. Me? I would have cut the tree down before building the garage. But what do i know? It is a very pretty tree though....I can't really fault them for leaving it there. I wouldn't have cut it down either. Anyway, who cares? I won't be parking my car in there this winter. Best of luck to them.